Deeds

I lost in a battle today.

This morning, when I woke up, I decided myself,

To do good,
Be good,
Talk good.

For that, I believe, dikurniakan sekecil dugaan yang secara tiba-tiba datang ini mengundang banyak sangat persoalan. It hurts me tho. Regardless to what I feel. I can't even hide my feelings. I feel down, deep inside.

Why it's so wrong to be me.

I ask that to myself, until now, until I am writing this now.

Why all the bullshits comes so high in between that people decided to hurt others is the only option that will comfort them good? Fuck that motherfucker.

They forget us when we did our good deeds, neither that, they dump you, and then they cycle it to one time where they think they can eliminate you from the society.

Well then, Allah reads our niat right? Allah knows us.

So I decided again, no matter how hard, how hurts it can be,

I still wanna do good, be good and most important choice I should make,
I wanna talk good. I just want to.

They knew your flaws but they choose to love you anyways.
They knew the pain we hide behind our broken smile .
They took it out of our hearts and heal it instead
How come they didn't understand?

The feeling of not wanting to be under my own skin. Everything terrifies, depresses and drains the shit outta me. Hey, but I guess I'm just good at making up excuses, do I? 

People rarely see the deep surfaces of someone. They thought when they can obviously accordingly to what they could see, it has been the entire life that caught up someone's life to them. And come to more worst, they make it as a ticket for them to destroy on others.


I am terribly, just a bullshit-phobia.
I am.

I really am.